Welcome to New Release Friday, where we are taking a look at Mr. Massagy, a dating sim with a quirky controller massage feature. I have never played a dating sim, so this was a completely new experience for me but one that I was actually kind of excited to have. I think that the genre is pretty hilarious on its own, but this game takes it to a completely new meme-tier level. Of course this means that I didn’t really get to have a very traditional experience and didn’t really feel particularly “into” any of the dates. You know, as into a fake date with animated girls as one can get. I think that I could actually get into the genre a little bit more, as the premise is actually somewhat appealing, but I would have to find something a bit more serious.
So, usual copy-pasta: what is NRF? New Release Friday is a series in which (hopefully) every week I will hop over to the “New Releases” section of Steam and pick-up a game to play for a few hours and give a first-thought review on. This series is an attempt to not only keep content fresh and relevant around the channel by covering current games in a concise and genuine fashion, but also to offer exposure to new games via a relaxed review format to inform potential, unsure buyers.
The real beauty of this game is the fact that it doesn’t try to disguise itself as anything more than what it is. Mr. Massagy knows it is being silly and absurd, and capitalizes upon that in every way it can by making you laugh your ass off while also allowing you to take it as serious as you want. They start you out by tossing a cute girl with a horrible pun of a name your way and letting you basically succeed no matter what you say. You immediately realize that they allow you to use things like sarcasm and joking, but just have to sort of decide for yourself if Johnny is really going for meme factor or if he is serious and just going to get made fun of. Since this is a dating sim, they give you the choice in whether or not you actually go out with someone. Though it is disguised as a shitty Tinder style app, it actually adds another layer of customizable mechanics to the gameplay. Now, the mechanic isn’t necessarily good because you know that the people are there… you just have to keep changing your profile until they like you.
Thus far, New Release Friday has been pretty effective at making me step out of my comfort zone and do shit that I normally wouldn’t. It is worth noting that I have never in my life had any sort of interest in furry culture and am definitely not attracted to or inclined to believe that I should be an animal. Realistically speaking though, the second date is with a werewolf and she was a cutie. I think that this is honestly really where the art style shines; it isn’t high definition or super detailed, but the emotions, poses, and choices that the artist made to convey expression was very well executed, especially in a game which doesn’t have any real spoken voice acting (mostly small sounds.) The art of course still has meme factor; the loading screens are absolutely hilarious. Glittery, spinning, handsome Squidward falling through a rainbow never really gets old.
The soundtrack in Mr. Massagy is honestly pretty good and the addition of a music player on your cellphone that allows you to change songs, pause, and adjust the volume is a pretty cool little immersive touch. While we’re talking about cool gameplay mechanics, let’s take a look at the quirkiest shit ever which is the massage system. This is the quirk upon which they seem to want to sell their game and I think that it will work pretty well. It is like poor man’s VR sex. You can just set the controller on your dong and then let it rip. They disguise all sexual implications in this game as a massage, but are pretty obvious about the fact that you are plowing them. This translates into the controller massage as well, because they act like it is for a back massage, but it isn’t. This is basically a dating sim for you and your controller. Git some.
Final review on my wonderful meme ride through this dating sim… it’s hilarious and knows it. It doesn’t try to pretend that it is some super serious simulation, but instead takes its hilarity to new levels by sending you on dates with mayonnaise jars, cows, body pillows and the like. The real issue with the game is its length and general lack of content. If the little ad on the Linger app is legit, then apparently they will be releasing more dates which is cool. Sadly, in its current state, ~$6.00 is just a bit too much to ask I feel. You will probably be done with the game in roughly an hour and a half. If you want to go balls deep and read every single line of dialogue then it will probably still only take you two hours. The content that is in place is GREAT and if they tossed some more of this in then it would 100% be worth the current price tag. Hopefully they do expand upon the game to make it a bit more bang for the buck… you know, like bang. More sex.