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I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.
I think it’s time I finally talked honestly about this.
For years now, I’ve read comments asking the question:
“Matt, are some guys just not ready for commitment? Why? What’s holding him back? Will he change?”
As a woman, this can be so annoying. It can even seem downright unfair.
You meet an amazing guy, you can tell he’s really into you, and yet he gives you the “I just want to have fun” speech.
Yes, it sucks.
But I believe knowledge is power - and understanding why men behave this way will help make it so much easier to walk away from situations where he’s never going to change his mind.
So here is the real truth about why he won’t commit...
"Land Called Fantasy" by Ziv Moran
"Afterglow" by Be Still the Earth
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WONT COMMIT TO YOU NOW FOR TALKIKING CRAP ABOUT HIS BABYGIRL HIS MOTHER. JUST CUZ YOUR MOM IS DEAD AS A DOOR NA 6 FEET UNDER WHERE SHE BELONGS AT. YOU NEED TO TO DUMP THE GIRL ASAP SO WE CAN RENEW OUR VOWS.
I love your videos so much, I watched every single video religiously. I memorized, applied the content to the extent that rewatching your old videos reminds me of my own experiences and how many times you saved me from making bad decisions. God bless you
The problem is that school doesn't teach you certain basic things of life. We learn about heliocentrism and geocentrisn but not also about dickocentrism. A life of such a spinning rotation is dizzying and debilitating. No wonder you have so many views and a career out of this lol
I totally agree with you on this Matthew. I keep finding men who can’t commit because of their issues. But I’m not going to settle for a guy who’s not 100% sure about me, I’m worth the 100% all in guy. So until then I will keep investing in myself worth for myself and developing my passion for life. This was a great video, thanks again!
Freedom and independence is more valuable than what women can bring to the table after they've ridden the casual sex carousel into their 30s and are backed by the state who will ruin his life through divorce.
#3 and #4. He wants to travel the world and fuck as many women as possible. His explanation, I’ve worked hard in life to get where I am and my part of the path in my future does not involve a “traditional” relationship. He’s 47. 🤦🏻♀️
Matthew, I'm RELISTENING to this again, BECAUSE I NEEDED SOME SUPPORTIVE WORDS FOR ME HAVING DONE STH OF A WHAT YOU CALL HIGH-STANDARD-WOMAN AND IT HELPS SO MUCH HEARING THESE WORDS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INCREDIBLY GREAT SUPPORT OFFERED TO ALL OF US, MOSTLY WOMEN :-)
I just ended a "relationship" because of just this. What a nice confirmation. Right guy at the wrong time is still the wrong guy. And not seeing one's self worth, and believing in the perfect life and marriage is detrimental.
So if you allow a man to walk over you or lower your standards but you really like the guy, then how can you make him realise that you’re not going to take anymore of his bullshit? Please ☺️ thank you x
Mariah carey just came out with a song called GTFO go listen to it and if that dont change your damn prspctv than stay with him dont complain or get upset and deal with it and take it otherwise be a woman KNOW YOUR DAMN WORTH AND LEEEEEEEAVE!!!!!!! Simple! Damn why you females gotta cry over somone who dont love you enogh too commit ?? 😂😂😂😂😂
Are we talking "commitment" as in marriage, living together, a serious long-term relationship, or just being exclusive? Each of these have pretty different dynamics and standards. And you missed a critical point: if he is not 100% sure about you, why is it? Is it because you are really not compatible, or because of something you do and he has not figured you out entirely yet? It takes a pretty high level of trust and certainty about someone for you to commit to that person, even if things are going great there can be plenty of factors that make you second guess whether your partner is really right for you. Try to know these factors and work then out instead of just assuming it's all on the other person.
I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and he still won't move in with me. His excuse; he says he likes his space. Am I stupid to accept this? ..Probably. I wish I could ask Matthew personally what he thinks or what I should do. Also we have never gone on vacation together...but every year he goes away for a week to visit his cousins in the U..S. I have asked him if I can go along. His answer: he is going to be busy and I will be bored. So .......
💖 So that's why it fell through.💔
My self-worth naturally wouldn't settle for less. 💖
I'm'a wait for a man that loves me for the beautiful mess I am as a whole, not a few nice features they like at the time.
Why so many women have such low self-esteem? I don’t get it. I used to be like that a year ago, but aren’t these women tired of those kind of men. We’re not animals, I get it, but we can at least learn from them. No female in the jungle will accept a loser, why should we? If you have no personalities to sell a man work on yourself. A bird is not waiting for a mate to build her nest. She knows her duty. Know your duty as a woman. We choose. Not men. Do you want to bring havoc in the world or harmony. I want a peaceful world. A loving world. And it starts with us. We have power. You can change any men if you want. You can make any men commit if you want. If you bring value to the table. Know your worth. He will cherish you. If he doesn’t walk away. He’s a loser. Someone who’s three feet from a diamond mine and give up, he’s a loser. He should have went all the way. We’re so impatient. I’m tired of seeing children committing suicide, being abused—it’s not faire. Where is our compassion. You want to know the truth how to get a man commit beat his mother personalities’ in a positive way. I have said too much.
So I have a question on the “Bro Code”. There’s a guy you like right away but he has a girlfriend so you move on and end up having a thing with someone else for almost a year but don’t date them. And the two guys become super close friends. And after the “relationship” has ended on both parties. The first guy you liked ends up making a move on you and you go with it but then he says “ Don’t tell anyone , I don’t want drama with his friend and ex girlfriend” what do you do especially if it happens again. And he makes it a point to tell you again not to tell anyone?? Basically everyone is in the same circle of knowing each other.
I find the video misleading as it appears as if the problem relies on the lack of commitment from the guy and not on the lack of ability from the girl to lock him.
There are exceptions, but generally if a guy can't get a girl into bed, he's the problem. If a girl can't get a guy into commitment, she's the problem.
The evidence is that there usually is another guy who will be able to get that girl who won't have sex, to have sex, and there ususally is a girl who can get that guy who won't commit, to commit.
If you can't get the guy you want to commit it means you need to either A) lower the bar or B) become more attractive. For a girl is harder to become more attractive as the base of your attractiveness relies on your genetics (anyone telling you otherwise is selling you fairy tales).
So the sooner you get real, the better it will be for you. Drop the bar and get a less successful guy. If you don't do it and keep aiming at guys who are out of your league, you are harming yourself because you may try to lower the bar when your beauty has declined (e.g. 35 years old) beyond the bar that you could have actually had reached if you had decided to lower it sooner (25 years old).
This might be an ugly truth but you must see the beauty in you handling the ugliness of this truth.
Matthew.. Do you have experience in couples who are veterans with ptsd. We live separately now. We both tend to push each other away also depend on each others help.return from Iraq he changed. But I suffer from MST. But somehow we make it work. I want him to open up and love me and talk to me just the time he’s feels ok. I’m a sitting duck waiting for the time he offereing me a cracker then the cost is clear.#14yrs
Am I the veteran trying to be there again for him or do I do it because I care.are we dependents on each other can’t move on? But my love for him is strong. I’ve learn through group that these guy do this a lot to there gf or wives. So I assume it his ptsd and wait it out up to weeks to a good month. We have a child that goes back and forth and at time I stay over the night for family night. I don’t care if we get married or live together for now. I’m afraid of after the whole being a mother stop one day than what happens. So have you dealt with this before. Not normal for normal people but I’m ok with it for now
Simple: He understant that today's women are not capable or worthy of being a wife. They were not rise to be into long term realtionshiops and they have no skills to make a realtionship work.They have been with so many guys that by the time they hit the wall and want to so call seattle down, they can be truly truted! Their promiscuous behaviosr is a turn off for a rational man that will take her for what most women can provide nowadays - Sexual expereince! After over a decade of being with dozens of guys, one night stands , threesomes, cheating on their partners and so on , when women get old they want the man to just accepeted and dont take her past in consideration! Plus the fact that the Marriage laws and family court system is a rigged deal to benefiated women and children!
,MEN truly do not need women for anything..........sorry ladies, but you are a bunch of immature children.........YOU cant even name 1 benefit for a man to marry you, yet your life revolves around trying to manipulate and decieve MEN..
It all boils down to me not setting healthy boundaries and yeah, not being true to my standards. Hurts a lot but now I know better. For real. I need to be serious with my standards and myself before the right guy sees that and chooses me.
We've been texting and now he stopped. He said he enjoyed our talks but I know the reality is that he has so so many options both irl and on instagram. There's just no way to compete with those women, I'm beautiful but I'm not a model. There's no use to be smart,open, sincere and genuine it will never get you The guy.
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