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I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.
You might not realize it, but so many mistakes in your past relationships probably came from a lack of self-esteem.
Unreasonable jealousy. Fear of abandonment. Being needy and trying to control your man’s time and behavior (which only makes him pull away more).
And it’s all because of the C-word.
Most people fake it. Or they confuse it with other things: money, status, fame, a fancy lifestyle etc.
But the deep, inner, core confidence I reveal in this video is what’s left when everything else is stripped away.
It’s the ultimate power, and it’s available to everyone: if you’re willing to make a profound emotional change in the way you see yourself.
Here’s what you need to do to get it...
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Sorry to break it down for you and to ruin your little fantasy world but confidence isn't a 'skill' you learn or even more sth you aquire just by 'accepting you the way you are' and all that philosophical bullshit... Depending on your social and financial status and your physical appearance confidence comes in levels... You're short or ugly? You're doomed and I don't give a shit you can have all the fucking confidence in the world... Your genes are designed to fail... You'll get rejected 85% of the time and when you'll get finally accepted it will be by sb like you... Lions hang out with lions while hyenas with their own kind, jackals and wild dogs... That's just nature and you cannot go against it... So yep, Disney has been lying to you all these years... There's a solution to that though.. Money.. Money and again MONEY... Money is the greatest equalizer to everything. Try and work hard really to get rich.. That's all what matters.. It's statistically proven that those who lack in the looks or height department are usually much more gifted in the brains one.. So use it well ;)
The Get Core Confidence video is just mind blowing!!! I can't say thanks enough to you @matthew for the thoughts you shared in it. I needed it to listen to these words for so long!!! Thanks for the beautiful person you are and for sharing your incredible value! I wish I can work with and for you
Your emotional intelligence is incredibly profound. I'd love more videos about non-romantic relationships. I really enjoy being single, and I feel fulfilled in my relationships, but I still watch your videos because they help me to be more honest with myself. I feel like there are so many topics you could talk about that would help us in our daily lives that involve our non-romantic relationships. Thanks!
Love your videos. They help me so much! A few weeks ago I saw the most handsome guy in a club. We had eye contact, but at the end of the night I left for home with the regret of not speaking to him. The week after, same bar, I saw him again. When he was near me, I said hi. I introduced myself and vice versa, but directly after that he said: ' I've just arrived. I'm going to see my friends and get a drink' aaand he was gone. We have had eye contact after that but I got annoyed, because he wouldn't come over. So when I saw him later on when I was eating, he walked by and said hi to me (according to my gf), I wouldn't look at him, so I missed that 'hi'. I feel so stupid and proud for going up to him at the same time, but I really do not know what this means or if there is now anything I can do. Wouldn't want to waste this opportunity. What are the tips? Help!
I think you played your card already. You made clear you are interested, so is on him now.
I mean, go again there, yes. But have fun with your friends and don't care that much if he's there or not. Now the ball is on his side.
(And don't give too much too soon)
Good luck! 😉
Seriously works for me! Be kinder to myself to like myself more! I realized I have been doing that recently which lifts my confidence and mood :)
I have been sleeping way to much and would feel guilty. Now I just okay about it and stop feeling guilty. Try again tomorrow! Is also just a phrase I will get out of eventually when I feel ‘no more.’ Today I finally got up earlier!
My ex was awful always telling me I shouldn’t feel upset when I bring up something to him, or that I am wrong to think like that. He says that without a calm explanation why I am wrong. So is not a conversation to resolve issues. Rather I stopped being kind and accepting of my feelings and started to feel bad and guilty for having them. I cannot understand why he is so mean to me. Wish I know.
I went on Matt's retreat a month ago and I can honestly say it was the time of my life. I've never felt so connected and accepted, I have a tonne of new friends that I'm seeing this weekend for happy hour drinks, and I truly feel like while I still have crap do deal with like always, I am completely armed for it.
The comment/example on being kinder to yourself hit harder than anything I’ve ever heard. I don’t think that I, nor other women and men alike, realize just how much we beat ourselves up internally. I will celebrate in my struggles, praise myself when I realize my mistakes, and smile in knowing that I am always growing. Thank you for this message.. a small-town girl in North Carolina needed to hear it and so do so many others ❤️
MATTHEW!!! You sick, disgusting pervert!! How can you date someone who doesn't wear a bra in public and wears a thin white sweater so that her tits and nipples show through?!! This just shows how sick and disgusting you are!!! Don't you see that she needs help?!! She doesn't need a mother fucker like you sucking her tits and penetrating her vagina!!! Don't you realize that she is trying to get the attention of other guys? She yearns for way more than what you can offer and once that person comes through, she will drop you like a hot potato. I can't believe you are playing along with her game. And you call yourself a relationship expert? She is just using you for a pawn for her own confidence. Yes, she's sexy and talented, but she needs you as her therapist, not her fuck buddy. For the love of God, help her and stop fucking her!!
Yeah, be kinder to yourself, because feeling things is what makes you human, and you should allow yourself to be human..don't try to make yourself into a cold, unloving robot, because it's not worth it...we, humans, are neurobiologically wired to strive for human connection, and the only way to feel that connection is by allowing yourself to feel all those feelings..even if they're not pleasant sonetimes. But it's worth it.
You can't selectively numb. You can't numb pain and grief and still feel joy. In order to feel at all, you have to let yourself experience all the feelings. But it's heavily rewarding. It's part of the marvelous human experience..
Love yourself...you're the only one with whom you will spend your whole life together. Be your own best friend. Don't bully her (yourself) for feeling sad, she's already in pain, and there's a reason for that. Just be there for her..
When you have never been loved in 24 years of your life - that kind of shifts the perspective, right? When this insecurity is sitting in your brain on a full-time job, when it causes you to think the most horrible, darkest things about yourself? And I mean the worst things, that usually leads to the ultimate worst way out to end all of this? How is that for a video, huh?
Sorry, you are a good man and make great videos. You even helped a lot of people. You can’t just help everybody
I can resonate with all that you are saying Matt and yes, my core confidence hasn’t ever been there I don’t think. However, there is a couple of things I do want to raise though, which is, yes, you have a business to run and you obviously have to get paid through doing these retreats and the home retreats i understand that. But, listening to the video that I found on your website it is still very expensive and it seems for such as myself to buy these programs, that you do have to have money. Yes, I am going to admit that there is jealousy within me that I cannot afford to pay for this home retreat. However, by just listening to the free video that was on your website, it has made me realise the ongoing patterns that is conditioned within me in my life. Even though I still cannot afford to pay, I still would like to say Thank you Matt and I do think you do a wonderful job. X
Didn't rely answer the question...but helpful though.And yes you are right,logic cannot reason wth emotions!! I have been trying to tell that to the the well meaning friends and people with ton loads of advice and how it doesnt really help,you do know all the right things,the logical things but your emotions will still have none of it,because it needs time to process the hurt abd heartbreak and get through it.And that,all you need during that time is a little kindness and patience,both from your own self and others.
Hi Matthew! What do you think about me feeling the exact reverse?! Rather confident inside but usually embarrassed with myself in front of other people?!.... It would be nice to get your opinion and advice! 😊
You shouldn't care what others think. You can't control them. You have no control over how others see you. So just be who you are and as long as you're doing positive things and being a good person then shout it from the roof tops.
You always give great advice Matthew! ❤️ But I have a question: how can you pick yourself back up when someone destroys your confidence by saying something harsh about your personality? Things like “you’re not good enough” or “ I can’t have a conversation with you cause you’re boring”
Ughh I feel like everyhting Matthew says is very helpful but at the same time, I feel like I lack in so much. There's a lot of great advice that I feel like I have to follow in order to get a guy and as a result I feel a little overwhelmed. Like I have friends who aren't social butterflies at all and they have boyfriends. But idk maybe what I'm saying is just a sign of my insecurities? idk :/
The best part for me here is being kind to myself and realising not to beat myself up because I feel emotions. For years I was angry that I feel so much, I was frustrated that I am affected. Recently I’ve started embracing them and this video just confirms it. And yes I start feeling better and I can even joke about some feelings when before I cried about them.
I have been on this journey to try to explain this very concept to a friend of mine. She is beautiful, intelligent, funny, and has a ton of other wonderful qualities to completely cancel out the need to not feel confident.
I used to have a low self esteem, I used to hate myself for a whole slew of various reasons... then one day it all clicked and came together, with the help from the same friend I’m trying to help now... ironic I know. LOL. Now, fast forward 15+ years and I’m the most confident person I know. I love myself, I think I’m awesome, amazing, and regardless of what others think of me... I still love me for me. Bc I fought long and hard to become the woman I am today. And I’m proud of my accomplishment.
I think I’m the nearly 7 minutes of watching this video, I realized what I gotta do to help guide her in the right direction to self love again.
Came here to tell you how shitty it is that I clicked on your 9 texts ad only to be linked to more and more redirects which eventually just lead to a page that tries to get me to buy some book. Thanks! I don't hate you but this was honestly so shit.
That 2nd half when he spoke to neelan, that was amazing, im in her same exact position for missing someone who has been gone, and i have beating up myself for having this mindset/feelings. What matthew said has made being kind to myself more easy to do. Thank you for validating and giving me a new persepctive on something that i thought needed to be buried away, i was mistaken.
Great advices, I would take them if I were a man, but I am a gorgeous girl, if confidence is what a man needs to notice a girl, what's the use of beauty!???!!!!! Why we have such a great industry of human aesthetics???!!!!!! My beauty doesen't count at all?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Strange, this is the reason I am alone, I clearly see men only likes power, no beauty attracts them, this is why I hide my confidence, this why the men I meat and I gave them a chance,were first tried by me and, they failed me deeply, and disgust me beyond words, so I will wait for a real men, he will not be captured by my confidence, my beauty will smitten him, cause I got too much of it!
I am not against you at all, I think you give smart advices for our era, men are very feminin today....😞
Iam just a perfectionist, I do not accept less. You see confidence is given by money, ( or by physical perfection, which I got, and which is so rare, like one in a billion) which makes men attracted to the masculine part of the woman not the feminin one as it should be!
I am just pointing out what is wrong with the world!
In a normal and beautiful world you should give this advice to the men, not to the women, but this is not a normal beautiful world, so you are on point!
It makes women work harder, to get new butt, new boobs, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth, in order to gain confidence!
What a pathetic world we have! and when you think men can change it, but they prefer to embrace their feminin side more than the masculine one they are borne with, it makes it even more so
HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT "HIS RETREAT" SCAM ARTIST! .PREYS ON VUNERABLE WOMEN TO TAKE ALL THEIR MONEY! ..LADIES PLEASE PLEASE DONT FALL IT! THE MINUTE YOU HEAR BUY THIS OR COMETO THIS AND HES CHARGING AN ARM & LEG THATS YOUR CUE TO RUN..
LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP IS A MATTER OF THE HEART. THERE IS NO ONE ANWSER OF HAPPINESS AND FINDING THE PERFECT MAN IT DOES NOT EXIST! ..YOU CAN ONLY BE SURE OF YOURSELF.. EMPOWER YOURSELF TO DO THE MOST IVESTMENT ON YOURSRLF TO RAISE YOUR CONFIDENCE.
IF YOU FEEL YOUR FAT- WORKOUT, EAT RIGHT. IF ITS ABOUT MEET GOOD MEN. DONT BE STUCK AT HOME DO VARIED ACTIVITIES OR JOIN SINGLE WEBSITES.. ITS FINE.BUT CONDUCT YOURSELF LIKE A LADY. YOUR VALUE AS A WOMEN IS JUDGED BY HOW YOU TREAT YOURSELF....AND DONT HOLD UNREALIST EXPECTATIONS. IN A FAIRY TALE A MAN SWEEPS US OFF YOUR FEET AND AND IS ALWAYS ROMANTIC BUT IN THE REAL WORLD THATS ONLY AT THE INITIAL PERIOD THEN ITS TOO SELFISH TO EXPECT IT ALL THE TIME. WHEN WE ADOPT THAT ATTITUDE AND MEN STOP BEING ROMANTIC WE WANT TO LEAVE " HE DOESNT LOVE ME ANYMORE" ETC... THE WAT TO MAKE IT WORK IS YOU ALLOW EACH OTHER TO MSKE OUR OWN CHOICES INC HOBBIES ETC.
YOU ALWAYS GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE FOR YOUR OWN TIME AND THEN DO THINGS TOGETHER.
The only thing I don't like about you it's that you've tricked yourself into believing that you're seeing "the whole picture" about the reasons of our emotional problems, and the truth is that you're profiting with two of them: capitalism and the patriarchy culture. You've fall into the individualist thinking.
Maybe study more about your own steategies and the history of femenine emotional education...
It's your responsability.
Greatttt message omg. This was perfect timing!!! My last break up was last year in Nov but he led me on until March of this year. Last communication was May though. I often beat myself up when I think of him or miss him, which is everyday. He has happily moved on which im happy for but it's so painful to see that he's moved on and content, while I am single and going thru these motions. But.. I will be kinder to myself. I'm only human and my emotions are normal. That last bit where you said these emotions can be used to love someone who's even better made me smile. Much love Matthew ❤️
It’s because people tie their self worth to superficial things like their image, status, etc... The only way feel good is to feel needed, that’s the basis of our nature. Therefore we must create responsibilities for ourselves to carry out. Without responsibility there is nothing to show for or feel good about. Give yourself something to do, try and detach yourself from social media and other hollow things. Simply just DO things, it works.
Its hard for me to be confident cuz I have so many imperfections on my body, with my skin that when i see other girls with a perfect body and a perfect skin I lose my self confidence. I know its not all about that but I cant help it. I know I have other attributes I speak 5 languages I have a good job I have traveled a lot I have lived in different countries but when it comes to show my body if I go to the beach for example its hard to be confident, I compare myself to others and sometimes i dont like what I see :'(
Greetings from Mexico you should come here too
Getting to "that" place requires Jesus Christ. It's that simple. Nothing else will ever satisfy that need to feel whole that all humans have, other than understanding that God's love for you will always always be there, no matter what. He died for you. That's how worthy you are. You may find satisfaction and confidence in something for a few moments or maybe even for years, but eventually that thing will be taken away. God never ever leaves your side. Just knowing that God is always there for me always gives me confidence that I can face anything. Choose Him xx
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