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As a teenager, I was obsessed with learning about people.
It was my #1 hobby.
I would see charismatic people in interviews on TV: movie stars, public speakers, fascinating storytellers, and I would wonder, “What is their secret?”
Luckily, my Dad was an enormous self-improver.
He had a ton of books on communication, negotiation, influence, and thanks to him I learnt so many secrets of impact that I still use every single day in my seminars, in my YouTube videos, in my business negotiations…
When you learn that importance of having influence and impact on people, you realise that it NEVER stops being important.
So in this week’s video, I want to open up the kimono and share some of these secrets by showing THREE simple ways you can immediately make someone drawn to you in conversation.
Download the free guide to having charisma here: http://www.howtogettheguy.com/behindthecurtain
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*Approaches a girl*
Me: So what do you do?
Her: I am a management consultant
Me: So let me ask you this, and *pauses*
Brain cell 1: What does that mean?
Brain cell 2: Do you like the job?
Me: Doat like thob mean?
Her: *Leaves quietly*
Its ok to say "i dont know how that works, can you explain it to me?" If its some common job or topic, you get them talking and offer yourself another chance to redeem your self by at least being open and willing to listen.
But many times it isn't interesting to me even if it is something really important, and I'm just making small talk until i can find an opportunity to get the hell out of there. I'm a terrible person.
But my problem is that I'm in general, insanely clueless. I met a voice instructor a while back that was actually funny, engaging, and spent far more time with me than necessary for that situation. I wasn't running late or anything, but did feel i was unfairly monopolising her time, wished her the best and left. Shes walking back into work, and as I'm driving away i see a sorta half hearted wave to me in my rear view. It was at that moment, i knew i fucked up.
So....... I am the kind of person who is very confident and assured when it comes to work, throughout college I was really good at presentations, public speaking and communication. But when it comes to men and meeting them I just become plain rude, I don't know why that happens. What I do know is that it take me about 20 mins of conversation with the guy ( or a girl/person in any other scenario) and I've made up my mind about them, which is whether I like them or not. If I like them I am sweet as a cherry. If I don't like them I am absolutely horrifyingly rude, I know I am doing it. How do I control this please HELP!
PS: My observation skills are at OCD level. In college it would look like I am engrossed in a book but I would notice, observe and remember everything and everyone as well as what they do. For eg: I saw this guy "A" in my college reading room and he was saying bad things about this girl "L". Few days later I saw him being a sweet angel to get notes from her😄😅LOL I was disgusted by him, the next semester he tried to sweet talk me into giving him notes and I said " you little shit, do you want to die?" He was in a complete state of shock. So was I
Should I see a doctor?
"Oh, I just be myself."
"Bullshit. There are things they do, consciously or unconsciously that makes them the most powerful person in that room."
100% nailed it. I've always had poor social skills including social anxiety disorder. Luckily I befriended someone in college (by luck of ending up in a shared suite) who had great interpersonal skills who actually was quite conscious of what he was doing and could explain instead of giving me the usual dismissive platitudes. It helped me a good deal.
Your videos and some others on youtube I've since found have been even more useful, and I really appreciate that.
It’s amazing how you can be an expert these days without the required qualifications and / or experience. Apparently you can just take a course on coaching and selling to naive people and then just take advantage of them
There are a few components to how to get any man you want. One place I found that successfully combines these is the http://bit.ly/2EUmtHt without a doubt the best plan that I've heard of. look at the incredible information .?
I tried the 'tim' one with my friends' boyfriend. Turns out he didn't like it or something, and was very curious what she had told me about him. The two of them ended up having some pretty awkward conversations, and my friend wasn't happy about it. Thanks a lot.
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